When social motives are not satisfied, it will result to anger. Some social motives are the need to succeed, to be the best, etc.
Learning modifies the way that anger is expressed; one time he may fight and in another he may use ugly language, or he may just leave the room. Anger causes a person to lose his temper.
What is anger?
Anger is the flash of rage you feel when a child defies you or a lover betrays a trust. It’s the slow burn at injustice, at violent crime or venal politicians. Anger may look like a sulk, a burst of temper, the merest flicker of a frown. Or it may scarely visible; the remark not made and the hand not raised, but the face unnaturally pale.
How can you control your anger?
The answer is a resounding yes and a resounding no. yes, it’s possible to control showing your anger, and a good thing too. Most of us do not chew out the policemen as he’s writing us a ticket, or talk back to the boss unless we have a job offer elsewhere. We learn to mask anger at an early age and get good at it, often without even being aware that we are doing it.
But we can’t control our feelings. Feelings come and go; the patterns they make, which are evident in our behavior, conscious and unconscious, illustrate who we are.
Although you can’t eliminate your feelings, you can temper them through acceptance. Recognizing and understanding why you feel what you feel is the first step toward mastering unruly emotion. Is was once jealous and angry when a dear friend married.
In an ideal world, our awareness of anger would slip easily in and out of our experience. It would remind us where we draw our idiosyncratic lines, give us a push, warn us away from dangers, and fire us up for action. Feelings would ebb and flow. Nervously I stand before an audience, speaking calmly, until a heckler interrupts from the back of the room. In a flash, I lose my stage fright and glare him down. Anger has rushed to my defense; I feel a ripple of relief, and break the tension with a joke. The audience laughs with me, and with pleasure heightened by the tingle of nervous tension, I return to the subject of my discussion. I sit down to the applause. Loose-limbed, I relax. I am myself – a thinking, feeling, sensing person.
Of all our feelings, anger is perhaps the quickest; the least likely to mesh with how we’d like to see ourselves, how we’d like to appear.
The roots of anger, the measure of its intensity, go back to childhood, when we were doubtless punished for it, or believed we should or might be.
Note: originally posted at triond.com under the same author.
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